Friday, April 4, 2014

04: Anticipation

I have trouble connecting,
always torn between
being worthy and finding worth
in reaching out into a world
that has too often
bitten instead of bussed,
tired of the bumps and bruises,
the disappointing ends
to such promising beginnings.

I realize part of that is me,
my naivete that I am the exception
to the game I've watched play out
with those who have stepped in
just moments before me,
the explosive crash and burn,
and yet here I go into the fray,
surprised that I am not
somehow fireproof.

So this thing in front of me,
this new and different opportunity,
leaves me breathless and wanting,
but painfully aware of possibilities
that scream of the shattered pieces
that will remain to be picked up,
because I thought I was special,

instead of being left behind
by people who promised more.

But I want to be wanted,
and I wait as the details fall into place,
addicted already to the anticipation
of everything that can come.

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